Make Self-Care a Priority
"Self-care is the act of maintaining, nourishing, and protecting your mind, body, and spirit for the purpose of maximizing your effectiveness, happiness, and productivity in life." ~ Valorie Burton, How Did I Get So Busy?
Each February 14th we celebrate Valentine's Day - a day when we express our love and appreciation to the people we care about. What is little known is that the day before, February 13th, is the International Day of Self Love - a day to express that same love and appreciation to ourselves first!
"We spend so much of our time taking care of others and focusing on all the things that need to get done. In the midst of it all, it's easy to forget about ourselves or to let self-care tumble to the bottom of our priority list. You know how that turns out. One day we realize that not only are we busy, but now we're also tired, cranky, eating too much, and more than a bit frustrated with the whole state of affairs." ~ Dr. Melissa McCreery, TooMuchOnMyPlate.com
As a society, we have been trained to give to or take care of others before ourselves. If we think of putting ourselves first, we often think we are being selfish. The fact is that we can’t give to others in a healthy sustainable way until we first meet our own needs.
When we were growing up, many of us didn’t receive the nurturing that we needed - healthy touch, empathy, time and attention, validation, respect, understanding, praise, acknowledgement, freedom — all the things we require to grow up mentally and emotionally healthy. So if we didn’t receive nurturing, we certainly didn’t learn to give it to ourselves. As a result, many of us feel guilty about taking time for ourselves. We feel guilty because we don't understand the difference between self care/self nurturing and self indulgence.
Activities of “self care” are ones that nourish and replenish the body, mind, and spirit. Examples include meditation, exercise, adequate rest, eating healthy foods, journaling, taking a bath, getting a massage, dancing, spending time in nature, etc. These are both physically and psychologically healthy and will create more happiness and overall well-being.
Activities of “self indulgence” are ones that give pleasure up front but leave a price to pay later. Examples are compulsions or addictions like drugs and alcohol, binge eating, shopping, gambling, physically dangerous sports, or other harmful behaviors.
It's interesting that we, as a society, have been taught to feel guilty with the idea and practice of self love and self care - which usually then LEADS to self indulgence!
THE FIVE DIMENSIONS OF SELF-CARE
Catherine at TheBlissfulMind.com says that self-care is activities and practices we engage in to reduce stress and enhance our well-being. She emphasizes that these practices need to be scheduled into our days regularly and often, rather than once in a while. She lists the following 5 dimensions of self-care:
Physical - activities for physical well-being increase energy and self-esteem. (ex. healthy nutrition, movement, physical touch, quality sleep, sexual needs, etc.)
Intellectual - finding the balance between stimulating your mind and giving it a break can increase creativity, innovation, and learning. (ex. reading, take a class, listen to music, detox from media, etc.)
Social - social connection helps create a sense of belonging and acceptance and allows us to bond with others. (ex. going to a workout class, walking with friends, join a book club, organize a dinner with family or friends, etc.)
Spiritual - a personal practice that helps you find meaning in life, develop a sense of belonging, and a connection to something greater than oneself. (ex. nature walks, attending a religious service, yoga, volunteering, meditation, etc.)
Emotional - helps us understand ourselves, cope with challenges, and develop and nourish healthy relationships with ourselves and others. (ex. journaling, affirmations, using essential oils, saying no, connecting with a close friend, seeing a therapist, etc.)
It's suggested that, while each category is important for balance, that you check-in with yourself to see where you currently need the most self-care. For example, my physical well-being is a high priority to stay healthy and strong so I can continue to do massage and be physically active at age 71, so that's getting the most attention these days. Fortunately, with hiking being a major part of that (often times with a group or a friend), I also fulfill some social and spiritual needs doing that as well. However, as an introvert, I do tend to spend a LOT of time alone to recharge, and always have to remind myself to schedule one-on-one time with friends. And, even though I endeavor to live a balanced life day to day, I’m realizing as I write this that I don’t have any vacation time scheduled - which I REALLY need to do regularly to REST, RELAX, & PLAY - and most importantly to have something to look forward to!
I encourage you to make your own list, and commit to making small sustainable steps toward better self-care a priority! It’s SO easy to completely abandon self care when we are outwardly focused — not even stopping to stretch or eat — and then that can really lead to trouble in all areas of our lives. And, while I take pretty darn good care of myself for the most part, it's always good to revisit this important topic and make some appropriate course corrections...AGAIN!
“ In the hustle of everyday life, it’s easy to put ourselves last on the list of priorities. But here’s a gentle reminder that might just change the way we live: Self-care is self-respect. It’s a profound act of acknowledging our worth, understanding our needs, and giving ourselves permission to attend to them. Self-care isn’t just about indulgent spa days or luxurious treats, it’s about daily practices that say, “I value myself”. Whether it’s setting boundaries, pursuing passions, or simply taking a moment to breathe deeply amidst the chaos, each act of self-care sends a powerful message to ourselves and the world about how we deserve to be treated. So, let’s make self-care a non-negotiable part of our daily routine. Because when we’re at our best, we can give our best to the world. You, more than anyone, deserve your own love and self-care.” ~ Andrew Hanoun, Hanoun Institure of Health
So as you begin to make plans for this Valentine's Day, be sure to remember to include yourself in the list of people to shower with love!
JoAnn Newton is a Master Massage Therapist, Certified Diet Counselor & Holistic Nutrition Educator, and Spiritual Counselor with a private practice in Graton, California.
Happy, Healthy Living!
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